Wednesday, June 23, 2004 ♥
[::05::] confused ♥ 9:55 PM
yOz!
i ain't really happy nowadays.. it's like.. ever since she tell mi bout how she think bout me.. and tt.. realli 'made' my day.. but till now i still am not sure wat i did wrong. but maybe wat does not seem wrong might seem wrong to them bahx? haix.. i'm confused. i really dunno wat her this sentence means.. 'i haf this feeling that u rather respect or trust guys rather than girl de friends lorx.' have they ever spared a tot for me? i mean.. since pri sch i get along better with the guys.. nt tt i nv trust or respect the gers.. but have they do the same thing to me? i mean.. it's like.. the gers dun realli talk to me.. I'm sad.. but i nv tell them. trying realli hard to keep it under wrap. but somehow.. haix.. nt sure wat to do.. all i noe is tt i am damn sad bout it.. so it is my fault tt i get along well with the boys? when i get along better with the boys they say i flirt. so now wat? she say tt alot of ppl think tt way bout me.. those that noe me well and those tt dun noe me tt well.. but does those hu noe me well realli noe me as well as they claimed? feel like crying at times.. but i have to be strong rite? why can't they just say it in front of me? at least i wun feel tt bad tt i was kept in the dark. i dunno.. i'm confused.. say tt she dun trust me now le.. but have she ever trusted me b4? this, i cannot be certain. why is it tt life everywhere is so hard for me? at least tt is wat i think.. argh! i realli wanna shout out loud. but hu will be willing to listen to my shout-outs? realli hate myself at times. when i need someone, is there anyone ard me hu will juz suddenly pop out when i realli need someone? i guess not. juz day dreaming too much..
beginning to wonder.. is my depression coming back? or maybe.. i'm just thinking too much..?