what am i to all of you?


oh boy! i was so happy during training last nite.. why is tt so? cuz.. we(me, limay, clarissa, da eeling, linda + meiwei) played a match against junyuan sec de dunno sec 1 or 2(most probably sec 1).. when it was my turn to serve, i couldn't believe it but I managed to SERVE OVER! haha.. was so damn happy lor! =D dan dunno lah.. abit unbelievable sia~ lolx.. oh yea.. the 12 whu were in the ivp had a 'chat'. we managed to clear the misunderstanding.. realli hope it is realli over.. =) last nite talk to my mother bout how i am realli feeling..? and hMm.. i felt better lor.. =) thx mummy! =)


today had to wake up earli to meet linda and limay cuz today had ivp wor~ playing against NUS. anywae, i was late a bit today.. hehe.. heng still managed to meet.. dan ate delifrance at Tampiness Mall when we reach cuz was hungry.. hMm.. today.. the onli day i took 15mins to eat delifrance! lolx.. dan after tt met up with the yr 2s dan went to TP.. did warm ups and dan got ready for the match le.. hMm.. ok lor.. lost the match.. those playing looks unhappy? hMm.. i dunno y lor.. >.< hope everything is fine bahx? dan stayed to watch the boys match.. erm.. ok lor.. think the boys played better dan the previous few match.. went TM de food court to eat.. lolx.. dan after that we went to watch movie.. hMm.. watch Anaconda.. wow~ it was pretty nice.. for me lahx! haha.. dan throughout the match i was pulling and crumpling his polo tee, scolding that bastard guy in the show.. and kinda screaming without opening mouth.. lolx.. =P after the movie.. they went back sch play ball.. which was like.. 7+ 8pm le lor! but i nv go.. dan i nv go he sure oso nv go lor.. >.< dan he accompanied mi home..
on the way.. initially i was alrite.. still the happy me.. but dan when we reach ard lavender tt station.. i changed.. it seems that no one will be listening to me when i speak.. it will juz so happen that when i wanna speak, sure got another ppl speaking.. dan attention will always be to the other person.. anyone but me.. it wasn't the first time.. during the match in the morning oso like tt.. i was talking and talking.. but no one seems to be listening.. y? haix.. maybe cuz wat i am saying are all crapz.. nt worth listening to.. forget it.. dan the same thing happen lor.. no one listening to me.. nt even when i called out to the person.. NO ONE & i realli mean NO ONE heard it.. was it cuz i was soft? i dun realli think so.. i realli realli felt out.. i realli felt forgotten.. i tried to be with them when they were chatting..? but somehow, i will always be the one one.. the out one and the forgotten one.. dan on the train, i realli felt like crying.. ok.. so i did teared a bit.. no one noes... haha.. i really dunno why i teared.. maybe i think too much..


home now.. hMm.. losing my mood le.. while checking email dan saw the photos that aiwee took with kat, diana and zt when they went sentosa.. hMm.. maybe i think too much.. but.. how come i dunno bout it? dun say cuz they in the same sch or watever fuck! cuz.. zt nt in the same sch with them.. i dunno.. i realli feel that i dun belong anywhere.. i really feel i got no fren... haix...


i am realli baffled. sometimes i realli wonder whether ppl take me as a fren. when u say best frenz, plz make sure u mean it.. it feels bad to be leftout.. left alone.. forgotten.. by someone hu claims to be best frenz with u... >.< i realli dunno what am I to those i considered my fren.. it's like.. i realli got no one.. no one to be there for me.. he was supposed to be the one rite..? but somehow when i run into problems at nite, he would always be slping.. i dunno.. pure coincidence? nt sure.. hack!