Wednesday, October 25, 2006 ♥
bird park and my mood ♥ 8:38 PM
yesterday was a public holiday. went out with my 2 brothers, my maid and kenny. and since picture speaks a thousand words, i'll let picture do the talking. =)

the place we went; bird park









anyway, had fun at bird park. although i keep shouting at my brother cuz he keep running. later fall down how? haiz.. nvm lahx.. fun jiu hao! ;) um.. but things happen at night...
i msged him. when i finally made my decision and decided wat i wan, this had to happen...
me: so.. we now..?
him: hmm... i ask you 1 question 1st.. Am i someone you wan to live with at least for the next 5 years?me: um.. wan to but whether able to or not i not sure?
him: haha.. let's patch ba.. but i really don't wish this to happen again wor...me: i'll try for it not to happen. but i cannot promise anything ok?him: wat if i wan you to promise leh? I can tell you tat i'm still quite unsure of things..me: i dun wanna promise and end up breaking it. that's why i choose not to promise anything. if you really wan me to promise i'm afraid.. still need time.. him: think give me some time to think about it? wat i need is sth you can't give? assurance...
me: den i guess maybe we still nieed time ba.. it's not i cannot give. is just that.. i dun wan to make any promises i cannot keep.
him: sorry.. but you should know i still love you lots.. right?
me: yea. i noe. but i cannot say that in future oso will.. just like you cannot say that in future those things wun happen.him: orh
me: yea.. so we're still back to the decision making stage yea? never patch rite?
him: yep.. Sorry for being selfish..yupz.. and this is just the later part of our conversation. i can understand that he needs assuarance. like wat peifen say, he is too afraid of losing me.. but, i just dun understand why must he make me promise him. without the promise he would rather choose to reconsider. he's always thinking that he's hurt. i'm hurt too. i'm forced to face these kinda stuffs. i'm not a least bit better lor! argh! haiz..
was chatting with kenny last night. told him wat happen. and i couldn't control my tears. i cried. yes. i did. dunno for the how many time.. just cause of him. argh!
just when i had finally initiate the first step...
anyway, he called me just now. i just dunno how should i ans him anymore. it's blurred. i dun wan to go on like this anymore.. sometimes i think whether is it better to just let go of everything? he said to see whether our love is tt strong anot. but who is the one denying of the chance? i dunno anymore...