i'm not happy. not happy, not happy, NOT HAPPY.
damn moodless now.


work was fine today.. got some conflicts but was still ok cause in the end oso happy ending.. actually just myself lah.


after work met dear. he came to fetch me and ellen (his sis). but he was feeling moody cause he might have to go back to tekong. so he was moody all the way from ttsh till redhill. during dinner was still ok.. went to far east. and dunno for wat reason, he became moody again. was all along been tryin to cheer him up.. at some pt of time he was still ok.. and dan, after far east went his hse.. actually also nv ask mi whether i wanna go his hse not. but anyway, he went home, we look thru hotstuff, and he lied down on his bed while i play his com. he slept soon after tt. was thinking to wake him up at 10pm but in the end choose to wake him up at 10.45pm
but was only till ard 11.15 tt he finally get up. din say anything much but from the moment he woke up, he was not happy already. i mean.. maybe not say not happy but maybe sian or wat lah.. so he drove me home. along the way din talk much. reach my hse downstairs le papa called.


at home, kena scolded for coming home late almost everyday. saying i everytime go his hse, his sis there, just not at home. feeling pissed.. so i walked away towards the end of wat they were saying. din wanna hear anymore. they were saying supposed to be home early since dear is fetching me but i'm always home late. so they say if that's the case i shld come home myself. saying dear fetch me he can still come up if he wans. but the thing is.. out of so many times, how many times did he really wan to step into my hse? like.. 1 or none out of every 10 times. so wat am i supposed to do actually?


somehow, i just dun understand why.. he make me feel as if other things are always more important dan me.. but can i realli blame him? maybe tt's the way i made him feel too..


too many ppl having comments bout me. like.. i'm pampered lah, too rough lah, too much vulgarities lah.. how can anyone be perfect? this is me.. wat do you all wan? must i change the way i am just for you?


sometimes just wanna jump down. ok.. that's too extreme.. just felt like breaking down bah.. but shld be kinda normal bah.. since i already broke down quite a number of times already.


anyway i'm on shopping spree.. dunno y but just feel like buying things. shit.