had a staycation at hard rock hotel in sentosa over the weekend..
mainly cause dear had another chalet at amara from fri - mon..
anyway we had fen join us cause she was feeling upset over the whole jeff incident..
had lunch and some chilling session at harbourfront before leaving for home..
so along the way, dear asked if i wanted to go over to his chalet to stay if say today most of them leaves..
i couldn't ans him straight away so i said 'we see how'..
we cabbed home..
dear was asking me some questions before we saw my parents..
went home and i did my nails while dear slept, read his comic and played football manager..
and then, his friend called..
and i heard dear reply saying tt i'm not going cause i got work tomorrow..
upon hearing, i looked up at him..
when he ended his conversation, he saw me looking at him and said tt i was the one hu said i'm not going?
so i just smiled abit and nodded my head..
dan he came over and asked me if i wanna go..
but i told him dun wan..
cause to me, there's no point in going already since he has already made the decision for me.
so afterwards, we din really talk and dear started getting moody..
went downstairs for dinner and he finally told me his reason for moody-ness..
because of money..
but we did touched on the topic which he said i wasn't going..
he said that i didn't tell him i wanted to go or sth..
but we ended up agreeing tt we really didn't come to any conclusion and he made tt decision for me..
this is just 1 time which we talked it out..
cause during our lunch at EAT today, he said sth which made my eyes big..
he said he always asked me if i wanna eat but i said no.
he brought up clementi..
but from wat i remembered, he didn't always bring up eating at EAT..
and the time tt he did, we walked towards it but decided not to cause he says it doesn't look appetizing..
so how is this wat i said?
or maybe my thoughts are fuzzy and i remembered the wrong thing..
i'm not saying tt it doesn't happen and i'm always right..
there were other times as well but i couldn't remember..
the 1st few times i would try to rebut..
but now, it'd just let it slide and keep it to mysel..
cause he would always end up sayig 'it's all my (his) fault'
and i really dun wan tt to happen..
but i'm not sure if me doing this is the right thing either..
i just dun wan him to be all moody and so on..
anyway i hope all will be well..
oh yea.. and i told dear tt he always nv bring me when he goes out with his friend..
i noe i shouldn't be complaining and comparing cause everyone is different..
but when i see his friend bring their gfs to their outings and i'm always being left somewhere..
it kinda makes me wonder if he's ashamed of me (maybe?) or probably the fact tt i'm there he couldn't be himself and enjoy thoroughly..?
i noe all these are just assumptions and i probably shouldn't be assuming..
but ppl do assume things from time to time..?
i guess i'm just grumpy or sth..
he says i dun introduce him to my friends..
but i dun introduce my friends either..
it's just not who i am and introducing is sth which i'm seriously uncomfortable with..
it's not because i'm ashamed of him or wat..
sometimes i feel like bringing up all those kept feelings which i am having from time to time..
but i couldn't really do it..
i really dun wanna face him getting moody, sianed, or just putting all the blame on himself..
i tried dealing with his sudden moody-ness but it's not easy cause it wasn't how i knew him from before..
i'm still trying to adjust..
i really am.. but i need time.. :(