Monday, January 21, 2019 ♥
can i be weak instead? ♥ 11:20 PM
i love him so much. so much that im willing to just be anonymous for him.
but after everything and tt 3 - 4 times of decision flipping, he has eventually decided to stay by her.
honestly sad. cause he asked me to trust him and yet, what did my trust get?
i guess it's alot of circumstances that led to this. i tried. i really tried but nope. he doesnt want to be here with me. even though i could have given up everything and everyone for him. I noe that's not the point. but im upset.
how i wish i can be tt childish to want to die, to threaten with dying. maybe then he will come back.
why can't i be irrational for once. just this time. why why why. why must i be at the receiving end of all this. and yet, after all this, i am still willing to wait for him. waiting for something to happen. and i dun even noe what are the chances.. :(
i really wanna cry, but i feel like im out of tears for now. at times yes, i do tear and cry.. but most of the time, i think im strong enuff to withstand it. fuck! why must i be strong? cant i be weak?