Saturday, August 15, 2020 ♥
the end of a fragile relationship ♥ 5:01 PM
on 14 Aug, we have officially ended.
he says he saw my ig chats with my other friends. says that he has never chatted with another girl because he is down cause he still fucking loves me.
so does this means, my friends are only limited to females?
so does this means he could totally ignore me when he still loves me?
so does this means he could keep harping on things that happened months ago and not walk out of it because he loves me?
so does this means he nv trusted me to begin with?
he made it sound like i have something to hide.
i have none.
I never limit who he talks to. even if its a girl, yes i would probably be jealous but as long as he's open about it, i would still trust him. and even if i saw him chatting with another girl, i would have asked him, questioned him, confront him before jumping into any conclusion.
what has he done? shut me up with that saying that he felt silly, question me about who he has treated me and how i have treated him.
has he really tot about how he has treated me? how he could totally ignored me and refused to accept any kind of explanation from me?
why can he only see my fault and his effort but not see his fault and my effort?
i admitted my mistake and all he did was walking round and round, harping on my mistake, on how terrible he felt and how miserable he was. what about me?
he wiped me off real fast. the day we ended, our post in his ig disappeared too.
:) so what am i hoping for?
i nv thought that our relationship was this fragile.
i always thought we could have gotten thru this, at least it wasnt going to end cause of this issue.
people i talk to, be it male or female, told me this is a small issue, which i agree, it is not a very big issue to end things. but well, he has proven me wrong.
i thought we would be together with everything that we've been thru.
but i realised, before our relationship, the only reason why we could hang on for 10 months was because i was the one holding on. i was the one who refused to let go. and when i finally let go, that was when he wants it back, thats when he decided who he wanted.
but now, it couldn't last anymore was cause he has decided to let go once again and i did not hold on to it anymore.
maybe in a sense, he likes to be pleaded to stay. maybe he likes that someone is willing to get him to stay by all means, whether is it threatening him or however. maybe thats why he could go back to her time and again without hesitation but yet, he could leave me time and again.
maybe i should learn that kinda skill.
but it is not me.
if he doesnt wan to stay, why must i force him to?
im sad, but i'll get over it.
im sad but i wun show it
im strong.